Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Terminator

The Takeaway: No matter how many times you get lit on fire or blown in half, you just gotta keep reaching for your goals. Also - it doesn't matter if you send your father back in time, he can still father you in the past. Wait - what?

Format: DVD

Titanic. Avatar. Aliens. "I smoke all these fools," says both Cuba Gooding Jr. and The Terminator. Without a doubt this is James Cameron's masterpiece, gripping from the opening frame and not letting go till the credits roll. In between titles and credits we get a brilliantly realized time travel/chase picture with well-defined characters (thus the elusive 'heartbeat' in most action flicks) incredible set pieces, amazing special effects (for the time), and Linda Hamilton's sex face (an astounding special effect in and of itself). This is the film that sky rocketed Arnold Schwarzeneggar and his penis to superstardom. Yes - the shot of him walking with his schnitzel swinging makes me laugh every time. It's like another weapon. I kept waiting for him to use it as a lasso or something during one of the action sequences - maybe leap out of a building and toss it back and hook it on something like Bruce Willis with the fire hose in Die Hard. Honestly - Arnie's robo-penis being used as a bungie cord really is the only way I can think to improve the film. This is the greatest scifi/action film ever produced. If by some miracle you haven't yet seen this - it is imperative you go to the hospital, find a brain surgeon, have him examine your head, make sure you don't have damage. While you wait (and you know it's gonna be a freakin' long wait with doctors these days), watch the damn movie on any device you have. Enjoy, kiddies. It's a Paris!

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