Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Cobra

The Takeaway: Apparently the best way for Stallone to get through an action flick is to hire incredibly incompetent evil henchman to shoot at him at close range and repeatedly miss. And it doesn't hurt to throw in like 5-10 cheesy 80's songs, making it look like VH1 Classics instead of a motion picture, ya know, just for a morale booster.

Format: Netflix Instant Streaming

First Time Screening. I can't help but want to yell, COBRA! with a slithering snake voice, only to hear YO JOE! screamed back at me. But that's a different movie. This movie has everything you could possibly want in an action flick, most importantly: A hero that doesn't do anything bad to his body, yet munches on a match. He doesn't eat pizza, but cuts it with a scissor for some reason. He spits out one-liners like a cowboy in a saloon, beats the hell out of people, wises off to his superiors (I'm particularly fond of this one!), fires incredible amounts of gun power, tosses knives like a ninja, and can't - I repeat, can't - no matter how many men attack him at the same time, he cannot get shot. That's a hero I want. Thanks, Stallone! (I have a goofy grin and I'm flashing the thumbs up) And while this will never beat down the all-time 80's cheesy action flick classic, Commando, ya just can't go wrong with a flick where Stallone wears a pair of sunglasses bigger than his head. Enjoy, kiddies. Soft Serve Ice Cream @ 66th and B'Way.

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